Friday/Rāmere
Bill organised a guided tour with Alex who runs walking tours in Newcastle upon Tyne. He has a Masters degree in medieval England history, though he occurred like he knew a lot about the Romans and everything. I will see what I can remember which I found interesting.
This is the monument acknowledging Earl Charles Grey, the one of the tea. We were staying in Grey Street.
Charles Grey was not always a hero. Here is his story. His father had him destined for big things and educated him well. When the local MP died suddenly, Charles was in Europe visiting European cities as part of his education. The Dad put him up for MP without Charles even knowing! After that he became Prime Minister for four years. It was during this time he made transformational reforms - they were around slavery and who could vote. To support the law change to abolish slavery, he got the government to buy slaves from their employers. It wasn't all roses as some employers were unhappy because they lost their cheap labour, but also some people who were voters lost the right to vote (but the total number increased a lot).
During his role as PM he reputedly received a gift, probably a diplomatic present, of tea that was flavoured with bergamot oil. He liked it so much and It became so popular that he asked British tea merchants to recreate it. They did and it became an instant hit. He did not get any royalties for it. Earl Grey Tea is big today. Some other hero was destined for this monument, and I can't remember why he didn't - some divide in the city at the time. Anyway Charles became Earl Grey and the monument was for the transformation he had caused for others.
Then to the Newcastle United football ground, St James Park - Bill requested it be on the tour route. This below is Bill and our tour guide Alex in front of the stadium. Everyone dislikes the money hungry owner. They love the manager (Benitez) but he has just left once his contract ended because the owner refused to spend money on buying players, and he sold important land beside this ground. There has been a bit of controversy in the past few days around that. From the paper - "His exit after three largely successful seasons has been greeted with fury by fans desperate to see him stay and restore the club to the upper reaches of the Premier League." Benitez said "If you don't, have players with tools and skills then you suffer, because you're at the bottom of the table, every point is massive and you know that a mistake could mean relegation. That would be a disaster for the whole city. If the people at the top of the club had the same ideas (as me), I would still be there."
And the stadium from another viewpoint - it is in the background of the photo below.
I found this photo below of what an artist thinks Newcastle was like in Roman times (400). Now we are in 2019 I find it incredible how the river has changed. Alex told us land had been reclaimed by 300m on the Newcastle side, which is the far side in this drawing. Also that now the river on the near side is Gateshead, a city in it's own right, and there is great rivalry.
And here is the city now, and all its bridges. Land was reclaimed by dumping debris in raised boxes on the river Tyne.
There are more bridges looking down river.
Newcastle is now a party town - we saw hen parties and stag parties everywhere. This is a stag party (walking along a path which wasn't there in Roman times).
There are lots of pubs and cafe's. This is the Beehive hotel - it is the most expensive pub and at the same time the cheapest. Most expensive because of the cost of building it with it's tiles and frills on the outside of it. Cheapest because it has the cheapest beer - one pound 60p per pint.
I love the bees on the tiles.
We did not go inside the Beehive. After the tour we found two other bars. In one of them we struck up a conversation re age. A guy thought I was 46 and Bill was 52. I was very happy about that. It was the first night in England we went to bed after 10pm!
I have had a few discoveries myself travelling with Bill. What I think to be true is not always true. He bites his finger nails constantly. You might laugh, but I find it so incredibly irritating. I always have found it annoying though I have just gone and done something else. And when we are travelling it has annoyed me so much more, as we are spending so much more time together.
What I have discovered about that is I make a judgement every time he does it. I think he goes back to primal and excludes everyone around him, and mostly me. The truth is I have some pretty bad habits too, like I suck a little finger and can get primal too. It is funny when I write it. Also I can have him biting his finger nails constantly mean anything. Anyway I told him it annoys me and I will let him know when I discover more about that, as I know I can’t change him.
And then I got it. I have it mean it doesn't look good. It is baby like and I can't be with you. It reminds me of my childhood. My Dad getting so annoyed by him and trying and forcing a change (like Dad with me when I was child) or I can just take myself away and treat Bill's habit like water off a duck's back (like Mum did with me when I was a child.)
What I have discovered is I was mostly one or the other of these when I was parenting when our children were growing up. I don't have to be that anymore. When I was a child and my parents were parenting in this way I didn't think I was really really loved or lovable. I was always on edge waiting for the next argument, and then Dad would try and force me to do something or Mum would just try to keep the peace by turning a blind eye.
This is all the story I have made up!
Anyway just talked to Bill about all of this. Will I be irritated by his finger nail biting in the future? Fingernail biting does not define him. And for me it is important not to step over it. And I could choose one of my parent's tactics or one of my own.
Bill is super focused on planning this trip and I would say an A Plus planner. I can focus on that. And I could force him to stop biting his nails or walk away. I can choose. So I am taking on being forgiving, trusting and loving of myself. Forgiving for all the forces I have tried with him and our children and all the walkaways, trusting I can find another way to have the nail biting work and loving him for his nail biting!
I will keep you tuned.
